WTF My Car Was Stolen

Well it’s been two weeks almost since I have spoken to you all, oh and I will get to the car thing in a minute, but let’s recap the last few days. I believe it was the day I last posted I got my first gay hater on MSN, maybe I will post some of that convo. The day after the ball game I flew to Florida, on Jet Blue, the airline with the TVs in every head rest. The flight was good and uneventful. My dad lives in Florida for about ten months a year and then spends a couple of months up in New England. I flew down to drive a car home for him as he fell a couple of months ago and broke a few vertebrae. He is healing well but not enough for the 1500 mile drive home.

When I got home I became involved some blog land drama, had a good week in court and then I made a mistake and lost the trust of a friend, I had a momentary lapse of reasoning for which I will never forget what it cost me. But moving on … i would like to thank Steve for being my newest follower, he has been around for a long while and writes a nice blog I hope you all have some time to check his blog out.

So while I was in Florida, I had lunch with a friend and diner with another one and ate this meal

and I spent some time on this beach

And I got drunk one night in St. Petersburg near John’s Pass. Then I headed home. Driving in the south of this country is a lot better than the north and for one reason the speed limit is legally 70 mph thus you know the cops will allow you to go 80 mph. For another there are generally less people on the roads also which makes it easy to travel fast, but the worst thing about the south is there is no dunkin donuts my favorite place to get coffee. I made it to Virginia driving almost nine hundred miles on the first day. Taking plenty of breaks as advised by Jake Anon. The following day it took just as long to go the rest of the way home mostly due to two hours of traffic in the New York City area, where I stopped to have dinner with a friend.

Got home and went to court twice last week and won both cases, well in one the other side didn’t show, so you just get a default judgment making my life a bit easier, but i really had a good work week.

This weekend though something happened which caused me to react in almost a violent manner. Like many of you I have some issues in my life which I constantly fight and try to control. One of them is when I am provoked or defending a friend I care about I can become someone else and really not someone you want to deal with, for when I was young I was taught to hit someone so they never stand up again. Dad was a marine and believed if you are going to fight then don’t lose. I did something which I believed was right but I have come to learn that no matter the justification I was wrong for hurting my friend and betraying his confidences. I have been forgiven but our friendship may never be the same and for that I am deeply sorry my friend I broke your trust.

Oh yea my car, so I go to get ready to go to lunch with Bob today and I walk out and my car is not there. I go into panic mode, check the whole parking lot (I work with practical jokers who would move my car) but I knew I had the keys all morning. I called my friend Officer Burke and start to tell him my cars' been stolen when I remember, this morning I drove across the street to get muffins and walked back to the office. I normally walk there but it was raining a bit this morning and when I came out of the store it had stopped so I walked back forgetting my car in the parking lot. How foolish I felt lol, but my car was there safe and sound.

Thanks for reading, Take care and be safe

Cvn70

Please A Moment For RJ

This isn’t the post I have been trying to write and frankly I am hoping you have the time to give a little support tonight to a couple of our friends. It’s been a tough couple of weeks in Blog land. I am sad to say the news I have to share tonight is not getting any better and isn’t going to make any one happy.

A relatively new blogger RJ, chipsnfiascos blog, who I just met not two weeks ago has been struck by a car and is in serious condition. RJ is a 16 year old from New York who love tennis and is pretty good player. Yet again a real life friend of a blogger has gone out of his way to enter our world to let us know about our new friend RJ, who he knows in real life as Ryan. Cole his friend has created a blog and the full story is here, be prepared its not pretty. Cole has updated Nick and we do is is in serious condition awaiting surgery as I post. Cole does know Rj is bi and we do RJ told him about some of us, one in particular and another new blogger, Nick.

Nick and RJ have become good friends and well you probably have a guess of how Nick is feeling. I rarely ask much of others but if you have a moment please say prayer because folks I understand RJ may not make through the surgery. Maybe send Nick an email or say hello to him as i know he needs a little support right now.

As soon as any news reaches is known I am sure Cole, Nick or I will update everyone. I also ask if you have a moment to visit his friend Cole’s blog there is an email there and maybe send RJ some flowers, please remember to be sensitive to what we don't know. Peter showed us how to do this before for a friend in the hospital before, so if you have a minute I am sure Cole will deliver them at the right time.

You can steal the flowers from this post or find your own. I am borrowing them from AgentK. Thanks everyone for reading and especially for those who have the time to wish RJ good health and Nick some support during this very tough time on their young lives

Take care and be safe, God watch over our friend RJ tonight

Cvn70

Life is Over, Bye Matt

“The most important things are the hardest things to say. They are the things you get ashamed of, because words diminish them – words shrink things that seem limitless when they were in your head to no more then living size when they are brought out. But it’s more than that, isn’t it? The most important things lie too close to wherever your secret heart is buried, like landmarks to a treasure your enemies would love to steal away. And you may make revelations that cost you dearly only to have people look at you in a funny way, not understanding what you’ve said at all, or why you thought it was so important that you almost cried while you were saying it. That’s the worst, I think. When the secret stays locked within not for want of a teller but for want of understanding ear.” Prologue to “The Body” by Steven King

I wish I had written those words for they describe for me some of what blogging is about. Mr. King’s short story, one known by most, centers on friendships and how characters that seemingly have nothing in common form strong bonds through experience, learning and coming to know each other's strengths and weaknesses. Many of us are hear looking for that understanding ear. We are attempting to make revelations of ourselves and provide information that are enemies may use us against us and for some here that is a real life proposition. The Body provided the material for the screen play and movie most are probably familiar with called "Stand By Me"

A lot has happened to me in the last few days but Life the Blog is over, Matt, my friend made 50 posts in four months had about 30 followers and yesterday sent me the email below. I guess I should start by thanking him for sending the email. He knew how it bothered me when some bloggers just up and leave. Matt was a friend. I left the first comment on his blog and we had emailed and chatted and became friends over the last four months. He wasn’t happy, a common trait among many of us, his family life wasn't the greatest as he saw it, his love life was non existent, stressing over exams but i thought he had found some friends here. He taught me a lot about how he saw life and things but in the end, I guess he didn’t find what he wanted here in blogging. I wish he had stayed to send me an email occasionally to let me know of his progression in life. Maybe some day he will, Matt it would mean a lot to me if you did.

I thought a lot, long and hard, about posting what he says in his email its not all pretty and I don’t know what happened; we actually chatted shortly before this and he said he would be on MSN today, those were his last words to me but in the end he asked me to post this so I will oblige his request. They are Matt’s thoughts not mine:

“Bob, put this on ur site please.

Hi. Bye.

Look theres no easy way to put this, but im going to stop blogging from now. Not just stop posting - just end my blog and everything to do with it. Ive come to the realisation that blogging is fucking me up - its making me think about how to say stuff, bad stuff, how to always moan and complain about my life. ANd its getting to a point where i have to stop; im creating illusions for myself, im making things much worse than they are. ANd i cant do that. Not any more. Its fucking me up bob, im doing stuff i shouldnt be doing ,im saying stuff i shouldnt me saying. Its my life, and i cant let myself ruin it with this. Im sorry that this is done the way it is; i will miss some of u guys; you bob, wolfy, jamesy, mirrorboy, john and nick. Sorry to those people. No im not suicidal, and im not going to hurt myself, i just need to end my blog before it ends me. ANd this can be a warning to others - to all those who think blogs are just fun, just a place where youw rite your thoughts -no theyre not toys, you shouldnt play with them, its playing with fire. Either way you dont benefit. This sounds a bit crazy i know. But fuck it, it has to be done.

You wonder what happens when bloggers dissapear, well this is what. I just hope one day you wont have to understand, that you wont have to think 'he was right'.And dont try to email me or talk to me on msn, im deleting both of those accounts, so youre just wasting your time.

And ill be ok dont worry.

X”

Matt I have a lot to say to you about your email and the times we spent talking and emailing. I am sorry this medium drove you to this position and I wish we had had the chance to talk about what bothered you about blogging. What I do know is I have one less gay/bi person who I can talk too and get to know in my life now. I don't see that as a win but its your choice, my friend.

I hope you find the freedoms you are looking for in this life. I want you to get the best education you can in this life to prepare you for a future. I hope you find someone you can spend time with who loves you as much as you want to love someone. I wish you the best my friend, it hurts to see you go but thank you for all your help and support. And, Matt I never thought you were a waste of time, and since you asked for me to post this I hope you will at least look at it so thanks so much for your comment on the last post.

Take care and be safe my friend

may fair winds stay at your back in life, bye for now :(

I will miss you

Cvn70