Sunday, May 17, 2009

never, never, never, never

Dropping the stick shift back into 4th gear on the highway and feeling the car surge ahead accelerating far beyond the posted speed limit is one of the few pleasures I really enjoy. The sun is streaking through open sunroof warming your face as the morning passes. The stereo is adjusted so that the pulsating bass beat from the sub woofers is vibrating right through you. It’s the way I prefer to drive with the throttle wide open and the car free to fly along. Leaving the interstate and shifting onto the rural roads that carve their way through the Berkshires of western Massachusetts allows free use of the cars systems and engineering to increase the enjoyment of driving. I was running late I admit it; heading to my nephews commencement and not looking forward to a day of speeches; small chat with people you hardly know and then the obligatory dinner with family to celebrate. I am sure you have all experienced the event in your own families.

I thought of the term Commencement and how it’s used to describe a beginning of a new life for those graduating. My thoughts of course drifted across many of you who I have come to known young and old but mostly about the caring and support that exists here. I would like at his moment welcome three new followers: Baz, Nick and Lee. Baz’s, you’ve just got to ride it, and Nick’s, put the lotion in the basket, and Lee's, Coolness are all fairly new blogs themselves so go give them a look. I also thought of some new bloggers I have come across lately and if you have time and are looking for something new to read or look at then take a look at these, because like mboy says we all need some love:

Random Thoughts By Me, its written by Its Me, a 16 year old bi guy;

Malchick gais favs, its written by Sasha, I think he is from Russia;

Beneath an Orange Sky, its written by Joe, a 16 year old bi guy; and

Terrified in the closet, its written by Kelisseou, Canadian 40 year old teacher.

Let’s all wish them well as they commence in this blog world and if you can, go give them a read and some comments, thanks.

As I drove up to the campus grounds I passed rows of soccer fields, causing my mind to wander to wonder of how Courage was doing today, if you never taken a look at his blog its worth your time, finally finding the parking lot which matched by color coded pass. And after a few minute walk past some dorms, really little apartments these days, past the library, and finally onto the Green where a large tent was erected to conceal the days activities. I had arrived with minutes to spare as the speeches began.My favorite was delivered by the class president, OK so he’s a friend of my nephew but he was the first to quote Churchill today, the second was some trustee, a politician of some sorts and an alumnus. The last to quote Churchill was the keynote speaker and not wanting to reveal his name and thus identify the college, I would simply note he would be known to many Americans, but the focus of his speech revolved around words spoken by Winston Churchill shortly after the battle of Britain at another school ceremony in which he said this is the lesson: Never give in. Never give in. Never, never, never, never--in nothing, great or small, large or petty--never give in, except to convictions of honour and good sense. Never yield to force.

And then I thought of us all, and this little community that I joined and to which others are joining daily. Not all of us have figured it out; how to live with ourselves; how to come out; how to live after coming out; and mostly how to find someone to love. I have noticed lately many of you are struggling with your school work preparing for your exams and others the daily pressures of life and making a living. Its hard and the added pressures of being gay/bi don’t make it any easier. But here is a place where we all can feel free to be ourselves to discuss amongst ourselves and to offer help in so many ways to those of us in need. We all need the love and support from each other that we can provide so when you can give it freely to those amongst us.

So as I commence really in this new path of my life I will carry Mr. Churchill's words with me and hope that none of you will never, never, never, never--in nothing, great or small, large or petty--never give in. Always seek what you desire and keep climbing any hill or mountain that gets in your way. A friend of mine here recently said that if he could give a message to the world it would be "Never hold back. Stop thinking and just do it. And that is what I need to learn to do." I think he understands Mr. Churchill's message.

Thank you all for your support, take care and be safe



  1. Many thanks for the inspiration. It gave food for thought and hopefully will make me act as well.

  2. I love your posts bob they always open my mind

  3. amen to that. very wise words. not always easy or even possible to follow, but wise nonetheless.

    torchy! (no sunroof in my saab)

  4. A very inspirational post Bob. Thanks! And, I could almost feel the wind in my hair (well I would if I had any. Haha!) and the sun on my face, driving through those rural roads. Ah, heaven!

    Take care,

  5. Thank you for the post, the mention as well. But mostly thanks for the post. I had a kind of bad day and I needed some wise words. It happens that it's exactly what I needed to hear.
    Many thanks

  6. Thanks Bob ;)
    You are a really amazing guy. So glad you did start the blog.

  7. thanks Bob - if it wasn't so darn cold here I would drop the top and drive just like you described ... thanks for the inspiration to start the week

  8. Very well said. It's uplifting when you feel you're alone and apart from everyone else to realize that you're actually not.

    Perhaps YOU should have given a speech at the commencement.

  9. Thanks for the very inspiring post!

  10. bob,
    As always, another really thoughtful post, thanks.
    Also, thanks for the plug - a nicely timed kick up the backside!.

    Luv, Baz

  11. Bob, as everyone else has said this is a really nice post. Thanks for the mention in it, but most importantly thank you for the wise words.

  12. often very simple words strung together incur powerful emotion,i hope you find the energy to act, thanks

    @Seb I am glad you have an open mind to receive my thoughts in, thanks

    @Torchy I didn't know they came without one :P but yes a lot of things Churchill did and said were worthy of our attention, thanks

    @Col The Berkshires were made for drivig with curvy roads on the sides of small mountains, climbing and falling a couple of kilometers each and its really to bad others are allowed on the roads at all, as it slows you down so much :P, thanks

    @Sasha i am glad you found something within the post to brighten your day and i will get off an email shortly promise, thanks

    @Ryan what can i say; i guess its just a little bit of your awesomeness rubbing off on me :), thanks

    @Dan you should have done it anyways the heater works doesn't it :P and i hope your week goes well, thanks

    @Kelisseou hey nice of you to stop by and i will get an email to you also promise, thanks

    @Jay.osa I appreciate your kind words, thanks

    @Zee I am glad you found soemthing in the words to make you think for a least minute that inspired you, thanks

    @Baz no worries on the plug just trying to spread the word, thanks

    @Courage one good thing about having so many nice friends is getting to mention them in posts, how's the coaching going btw?, thanks

    @AEK I am really just repeating some smart guys words and looking good doing :P, thanks

  13. your words have really pepped me up after this week. thanks

    and thank you for all the comments :)


  14. @ LJ thanks for stopping and having a read