Thursday, December 31, 2009

A New Year is Upon Us

Hey did anyone notice that a couple of guys got married in South America, that did help the year finish on a good note. As a group we made some progress in 2009, and although i know there were still some set backs as far as legalizing marriage here in the states, things overall have gotten better.

For me this has been a good year too, I have met some new friends and really in some ways accepted being gay more than I ever have before. In this upcoming next year i would like to make further personal progress maybe even starting over in a new life in a new city. I am encouraged by the actions of so many of you and the friendship of so many more.

We have a beautiful little community here of people young and old from basically around the world which offers support and friendship. It a place that we can garner support and strength. It a place i have felt comfortable in last year in some ways more than I have ever been comfortable in the real world. In short you have all shown me what's missing from life.

I don't really make resolutions but i do make plans and while I am writing this from Florida as I am still on Vacation, this time next year I hope to being writing this from a new home in Florida where I will begin that life.

I will leave here the day after tomorrow and begin in earnest to seek out employment, then find a new home to buy, close down my practise and sell my home and if i can do tat in this economy then I will Begin to change my social life also. Well that is the broad outline of the plan.

Ok a little updating on my life, two weeks ago almost i drove to Florida. I had a nice lunch with Dan, Go Left At The Fork and Dodger, A Nexus. In fact if we eat i think three more times together our next meal is free according to the little card the restaurant gave us. Then got stuck in a snow storm in Virginia, 7 hours to go a 100 miles, thank god the Canadians who just formed a lane of traffic south and plowed through the snow and scared southerners :)

Oh remember that case I told you guys about where the old lady who lived with the Dad was trying to take all the estate money for herself, well I'm having some success in resolving that case before the trial date. Court does scare the guilty.

In closing today, I need to go to the beach, I am going to be watching fireworks tonight and thinking of all my friends in blog land. I do hope this upcoming year brings you all happiness, growth and treasures. There will be of course some bad days but hey we need rain and then sunshine can come into our lives again. and if you have a chance this year climb mountains cause the view from the top is excellent

Thanks for reading, I hope everyone is doing great, take care and be safe

Cvn70

Friday, December 25, 2009

Merry Christmas

I would like to wish you all a very merry Christmas and a happy new year. I would like to take a moment to thank those who follow and read for doing so. I hope the upcoming year brings upon all of you the successes and goals you are striving for and working towards.

I pray that all were treated well today and that their lives will continue to improve. Thank you all for being out there and supporting me. My life has improved in the last year because of you all and the help I have received and i hope yours has too

So during this holiday season lets forget our troubles for a day or so and try to have a good time in life. thanks for reading Take care and be safe

bob

Wednesday, December 9, 2009

Answers Randy at least mine ...

Randy, who is an American war veteran and a diverse thinker, asked some questions a week or so ago and i thought i would give them a shot. I think he is trying to determine if you live by some standards and consider your self a worthy individual.

So I will attempt to answer them in some fashion below. I had a good win in court last week, there is nothing like winning in court. Its cold up here and its time to go get warm again is all I can say

Answers:

1. Whose the last person you've helped, but didn't have to?


I cant tell you his name but I represented a guy the other in a Contempt Hearing today. Contempt is where one Party suggests that another party didn't follow an order of the Court. He is the son in law of a friend I represented against her daughter. he has a second wife and between child support and supporting the second family he can't afford legal services. He is not alone in this country in that we have fewer avenues to free legal help and many cant afford to even have a conversation with an attorney.

2. Whose the last person you loved but didn't want to?

Physically loved no one, emotionally loved someone that I didn't want to, I don't think I have ever done that either. I haven't ever been torn up emotionally loving someone I didn't want too.


3. Whose the last person you hated, but couldn't help it?

See the question like the one above is hard for me to consider and answer because I don't believe one does something that they cant help. I also try not to hate anyone in life I find it's such a terrible waste of energy.


4. What means most to you, but could do without?


I believe there is no single thing I couldn't live without as far as materially but freedom means the most to me but even that can be taken from a person and they can exist. But I would say the freedoms we enjoy as Americans and that includes the right to change the status quo.


5. At the end of the day what can you do better, and will you try to?


I could do everything better but seriously i don't think ill try harder to do any thing better as I'm rather satisfied with my life as far as my skills. And I have never been one to strive for perfection, I just try and do a good job every day.


6. Can you ignore want and acknowledge necessity?


yes I can ignore want and I know I can because once you have enough money to buy things you don't need want is something you realize is not always necessary. Acknowledge necessity if you mean stay within some boundaries and don't go to excess yes I can do that.


7. What is fucked up in your LIFE that you CAN change but never will?


Probably that I have ignorant friends and family members and I'm not sure i have the energy or the desire to change people who should already know how to act.


8. What is fucked up in the WORLD that you CAN'T change but will try?


If i know i can't change it then I probably wouldn't try even if its fucked up, I mean why waste the energy where it can not produce any results.


9. Would you denounce your convictions to save the life of one person/millions?


Yes, because my convictions aren't worth someone life unless of course it my life.


10. Would you follow your convictions if it lead to the injustice of one person/millions?


No, once again my convictions aren't worth an injustice done to another. But unlike the question above where saving a life is a black and white issue, which would lead a rational person i hope to save that life, injustice really falls into the grey areas of the world. I mean what i might consider justifiably another may not for religious or cultural reasons. So when i answer the question i did it from the view point of what i see as justice.


11. Is your life about giving or taking?


At this point in life I try to make my life more about giving in a lot of different ways. I believe that everyone that comments on a blog gives a little and every one who reads a blog takes a little, so here i guess from what we do we give and take, but in the real world, whether its in taxes to the government or other people or organizations i do try and give a little more than I take in life


12. If you die tomorrow, what footprints have you left?


I hope if I have left any that are remembered that they are to tread lightly in this world as it can be a dangerous place at times and to help your shipmates (bloggers too) in life who ever they for they may save your life some day. That doesn't mean to go without convictions or to let others run over you in life, rather i hope you see at it as:pick your battles wisely because not all battles are worth fighting, not all battles are winnable and not all battles mean a dam in life but when it does then fight to win.

Randy thanks for posing these questions and I hope I answered them appropiately.

I would like to thank a bunch of new followers for taking some time and reading this blog. Just who writes But Time Makes You Bolder; Jacob who writes Blogger (Blogspot) - yacbisolai; and Lady, gaylady and saexsboy who appear not to be writing blogs. Aaron who writes A Beautifool Chaos and my nephew AgentK who just stop blogging.

Also new followers and new bloggers are: jimi who writes My Side of the Stroy. and Jeremy who writes The Closet is Dark if you have time give them a read.

Thanks for Reading, take care and be safe, Happy Hanukkah, Merry Christmas and happy Holidays to all

Take care and be safe

Cvn70

Sunday, December 6, 2009

Happy Birthday Blake


I would just like to say happy birthday to my friend Blake who is year older now and closer to his goal of being free from his surroundings. It been nice getting to know you a bit Blake and I hope your birthday brings you a bit of joy. If any of you have time drop by his blog and wish him happy birthday. Or better yet send him an email his email is on his profile page right here, thanks i know it will make his day.

Blake, stay strong and continue working towards your goal of being free and finally being away from the place you feel trapped. Just a few more years and you can spread your wings and see where life takes you.

I hope you receive some gifts today that make you happy. Enjoy your day as best you can and remember that at least in this corner of the blog world you have some friends and some people who enjoy talking to you.

Blake is just one of several young guys out there whose lives are not full of joy on a day to day basis. He has found a few friends in our community and some of his fears about life have lessened. Blake after his dad passed away a couple of years ago was forced to live in a home with his mother, her boyfriend and his older brother and well none of them treat him to well. He is home schooled and trapped basically in his home.

His life at times makes you appreciate what blessings you may have in your own life just a little more. Blake unfortunate is not the only one having problems out there as i have also heard from Sebastian who wrote Simplicity will no longer be blogging as he was caught online by his parents and his blog has been discovered. Not to worry his parents tell him they love him but they thought they should also alert their church to their sons orientation so that the whole of the church may pray for our friend Sebastian, so that he may be cured. Poor Seb, he sneaks onto to MSN from time to time but he can also receive emails for those of you who followed Seb and may want to send him some support.

I also want to acknowledge another friend of mine out there suffering tonight and that is AgentK, i just hope he feels better soon. It's a tough life we live sometimes being gay, bi, lesbian and transgender but tonight i just wanted to say happy Birthday Blake

Thanks to my new followers I will acknowledge you personally in my next post. Thanks everyone for reading.

Take care and be safe

Cvn70

Thursday, November 26, 2009

Giving Thanks, gooble gooble

First of all sorry I have been gone so long. I have been back from vacation in Florida for weeks now and well I wont bore you with the excuses but basically work, a little flu, a little need of a break, some upsetting news and family issues have kept me partially away.

Today many of you may know it Thanksgiving in the States and it’s a holiday that I enjoy. I like to give thanks today for several things but mostly for you people out there who follow me or read this blog or write their own. During my trip I was fortunate enough to share some time with Dan who writes Go Left At The Fork, Dodger who writes A Nexus , Seth who writes Sethboyardee and Scotty who writes Endless Waltz . I also had the chance to meet with Shane who writes I just want to be me again as he was facing some tough times. Meeting you all whether in person, online or through your blogs has been a wonderful experience

I know I haven’t read or commented as much as I used too and for that I’m sorry because I do love these blogs and what I have learned from them. You all have inspired me to make some changes in my life and over the next year I’m going to make them. I want to relocate and start anew. I want to find a job and a place to live where I can try to be me as I was born not the person I have pretended to be. I just hope I find the strength to make it work, but what excuses can I really have anymore.

So I hope you are still reading and will be there with me as I embark on this journey. I’m focusing on Florida right now and over the holidays I plan on meeting with a head hunter as jobs are not as prevalent as they once were. I don’t know if I want to try and recreate a private practice in Florida as that takes time and attention I would rather put to finding someone else. Housing is cheap right now as I have been looking at homes and condos and I just want to find some little place near or on a golf course if anyone knows of anywhere there is a nice property for sale :). In some ways I want to simplify my life and try to enjoy some things I have never had or experienced.

I would also like to thank my new followers Mikey who writes a Gay Hockey Kids Life, Mike who doesn’t appear to have a blog but if you do let me know, Gracjc, who writes I love bananas, Ryan who has two blogs going Ryan’s Portal and The Gay Onion, and finally Ben who writes Sorry Girls I’m Gay. Kind of a catchy title lol

So as I get ready to go visit with my family I say HAPPY THANKSGIVING to my online family. I hope everyone enjoys the day and for those who live outside of the US I hope you had a nice day too.

Thanks for reading, take care and be safe

Cvn70

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Playing Tyler's Game and Going South

Sorry Tyler it has taken me so long to get around to this game of yours and I do enjoy them, I’m even thinking of doing the questionnaire also, I know a big step for me :) Tyler is one an active blogger who most of you know I’m sure but if not give his blog a look he posts almost daily. I do have to warn you he is not America’s biggest fan though :). But what he does do is promote this sense of community that we have here and I like to support his efforts on that so thank you Tyler for inviting me to play.

I would also like to say thanks to my three new followers. Wat so Ever from Australia who writes Chosen Life Foreva, Nelson G. whose blog NG2 is closed but I would be glad to read it from time to time if you ever choose to invite me, and Dave who writes derelict . I thank you all.
I would also like to say hi to Aaron a fairly new blogger from Australia and he writes A Beautiful Chaos so give him a look and a few comments if you have the time. I have had the pleasure of chatting with him a few times already but i have to warn you he has one of those aussie accents.

Many may remember his questions But here they are again:

1) Where are you from? (you can choose to answer with your country, state/province, or city)
I'm from outside of Boston and the city always looks good at night

2) What' your favourite food? Pretty much got to be steak and a Ribeye or T-Bone is always nice

3) What's your favourite drink? By far coffee and mostly from Dunkin Donuts

4) What's your ideal/favourite (future) job/career? The ideal job in the world has to be being a judge, i mean they answer to hardly no one.

5) What's your favourite thing about yourself? Probably that i have a good education to fail back on which helps me make a living.

6) What's the place you most want to visit? Well without going back to any of the wonderful places and countries I have been too, I guess this little place i have come to learn a little about, it seems to be about one of the most photographic places in the world.

7) What's your favourite body feature on someone else? Eyes i really like nice eyes

8) What's your favourite Movie? In the mid 70s when Animal House came out I thought it hilarious and i still do.

9) What's your favourite TV show? Right now probably FlashForward the new ABC show.

10) Choose one word that best describes you/ This was easy.

11) What time period would you most like to have lived in? The one which has yet to come.

12) What's the next thing you're (probably...) going to purchase? A movie someone recommended next week when I'm on vacation.
I need some time off so I'm going south to Florida. Hoping to have a nice lunch tomorrow with a couple of friends. I'm going to drive the 1500 miles to Dad's house over a couple of days. I really like the drive. I will stop along the way and meet some friends. Dad's getting a bit older and i like to check in on him a few times a year and OK he does live in Florida where its warm. It snowed here last weekend so winter is upon us.
Work just goes on, although suffered a but of a loss the other day. I hate losing it just leaves you feeling sickened. I don't even like the idea of an appeal.
For all those who are feeling ill I wish you a healthy recovery and a hearty thank you for all those helping to care for sick friends or family members. I am hoping to catch up a bit on my readings and make some comments to all you hard writing bloggers. Its been about a year since I started reading the blogs and i do think you all have helped me a bit.
Thanks for reading and take care and be safe my friends
Cvn70

Sunday, October 11, 2009

“Baby boy, I’m so sorry this happened to you”

They had spotted him in the bar alone, he was a diminutive figure apparently appearing feminine as Matthew Shepard was only 5’2” and just over 100 lbs (1.575 m. & 46.266 kg). His killers discussed their mark, plotted together; then they approached Matthew befriending him. It was reported they led Matthew to believe they shared his views on the gay movement while alluding to Matthew they were also gay.

Showers of your crimson blood Seep into a nation calling up a flood Of narrow minds who legislate Thinly veiled intolerance Bigotry and hate But they tortured and burned you They beat you and they tied you They left you cold and breathing For love they crucified you Scarecrow crying Waiting to die wondering why Scarecrow trying Angels will hold carry your soul awayScarecrow by Melissa Etheridge

Melissa, in her song Scarecrow, which is dedicated to Matthew tries to convey the incident and her disgust of the hate in this country towards the GLBT community. Most of us understand the concept of hate and what it can do to you. Whether you have faced it like AJCon89 did when he was attacked last year; like Joshua did when he came out in his little town in New Zealand or just feared that somehow you would be confronted by it, like so many others of you have from some corner in your life, well today maybe the tide turns a little.

With a large march today in Washington supporting the HRC Initiatives and the passage of the Matthew Sheppard Act by our US Congress, things maybe looking up a bit. But today I ask you to remember Matthew Shepard who was severely beaten and died on October 12, 1998, after a brutal attack which was in part justified by Matthews' killers because Matthew was gay.

The only white skin I saw (on his face) was where he had been crying.” Patrol Officer Reggie Fluty described in her report, she continued that when she found Matthew's body, his hands were bound behind his back so tightly to a buck fence that it was difficult to cut him free. She tried to cut the ropes from Matthew's hands and when she bent him over he stopped breathing so she turned him back over. “His hands were tied tight and I wanted to free him” she also noticed that he wore braces on his teeth and though his face was caked in blood, his face was clean where streaks of tears had washed the blood away. Fluty testified during the trial of Matthew's killer, that in trying to comfort Matthew while waiting for the ambulance she told him “Baby boy, I’m so sorry this happened to you.”

Tomorrow marks the eleventh year since Matthew left us. Just this last week the US Congress passed Matthew Sheppard Act which would broaden the definition of a hate crime to include those committed because of gender, sexual orientation, gender identity or disability to our existing laws. Matthew’s attack and the lack of protection afforded us, in part, spurred the passage of this amendment to the law. Now it’s up to President Obama to sign it into law. Obama has come up short on many issues he campaigned on and this is his first big test where he can make a difference. Sure many may point to New Zealand’s new American ambassador who is gay as an example of Obama's support but to date its been more talk than action.

I can't imagine what occurred or what Matthew was feeling during the ride and beatings, but at some point while sitting between the by two individuals who knew Matthew was gay the robbery began and then it turned to deadly. Soon after getting into the car with his killers they informed him " We’re not gay and you’re getting jacked,’ " they began striking Matthew over the head with a .357-Magnum pistol. After stopping in a deserted field Matthew's killers made him get out of the truck. He was tied to a fence post and left to die. His killers got $20.00 and a pair of shoes in the robbery. Eighteen hours later Matthew's beaten and bloody body was discovered but it was too late.

Two people who felt so little for the life of another that in their defense of his actions, one tried to explain his hatred of gays and why he was justified in taking Matthew’s life; he claimed simply that he had negative experiences with gay people including being raped as a child by someone, so when he learned that Matthew was gay and coupled with he claimed that during their ride Matthew made advances on him which caused him to strike out against Matthew, so you can see that was simply Matthew’s crime and what justified his killing. Matthew's skull was so badly crushed that his brain stem was seriously damaged, meaning that vital functions including his heartbeat, breathing and temperature control were critically impaired, and doctors were unable to operate.

Matthew's parent have created the Matthew Shepard Foundation and Ms. Sheppard travels the country speaking out against the kind of hate which killed her son. It's worth a look to learn more about Matthew and his life. Matthew died for $20.00 so please be careful out there my friends; know who you get into cars with and don't go any where with folks you do not know.

Thanks for reading and I hope all is well with my readers, followers and commentators

Take care and be safe my friends and remember its getting better but its not a safe yet.

Cvn70

Sunday, September 27, 2009

Happy Birthday, trips, meetings and friends

I like to say happy birthday to Shane tonight who writes I just want to be me and thanks for sharing a meal with me today. Shane might appreciate a little support right now as his room mate found a blog post on a memory stick and well Shane has feelings for his room mate so the result is things are a bit unsettled between them too right now.

I appreciate everyone who trusts me enough to actually meet and share some time with me. I have enjoyed getting to meet so many of you here on the blogs and look forward to meeting others, both on line and in real life. I was privileged to meet three people in California during my recent trip which I hope to post about soon in more detail with some pictures I took.

But in general I enjoyed a jet blue flight across the country; landed in San Francisco; rented a car. Drove down the Coast a couple of hours after being stuck in traffic between San Francisco and San Jose; arrived and met Jonathan who writes Gentleman's Romance; went to an aquarium where I saw some penguins, tuna and otters among other things; next day I drove south and met James who writes Just me; had a nice meal and took a walk downtown and enjoyed a cigar; overheard at dinner during my trip in response to bar waitresses inquiry as to if we desired another drink – no thanks if I have another I might hit on the waiter :) ( I hadn't heard that dinner before it was a first for me :P);

Drove north again and enjoyed some time with Jonathan again; the next day I drove south; went through a grapevine and saw some ducks and sharks; met Landyn who writes Stuck In The Middle and is the first blogger I ever emailed and met here; next day drove back to San Francisco and flew home

In the last three weeks I have met six bloggers and one other, a few months ago. I can’t thank you all enough. Not only those who I have actually met but those who read, comment and share their lives with me. Those who chat on MSN with me and email me. You are all making a positive impact on my life and I just want to say thanks. I believe we have a nice thing going here, a little community of people trying to help each other, and I’m lucky to have found you all.

And once again I get to plug some old friends who have come back to blogging recently. People like Courage had been blogging for months when I came along and he was one of the many who showed me real kindness and friendship almost ten months ago when we first met. He is back blogging after a short break and his blog is called A Beautiful Addiction.

Matt my good friend from the UK, who some may remember my post when he left our little community, well he is back and I hope you can give his blog a look, he is actually not a bad writer :P and he is a good guy. His blog is My Life.

I would like to thank my new followers first JC who describes himself as a Christian and is from Tennessee writes Who's Life Am I Living? and Charlie, a US high school student who writes Blogger (Blogspot) - boyintree - . I would also like to plug one new blog, Musings of Mr. GaGaa* is the writing of a Geeky And Gay Asian American grad student from California.

I am hoping if you have some time drop and say hello to them all. Add them to MSN and make them feel comfortable here too. I have finally updated my links and if you want to meet to add you please let me know if i haven't already. Oh yeah and I'm really going to try and make some comments and catch up on my reading

Thank you all for being out there dropping by and reading. Take care and be safe my friends.

Cvn70

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

All the Leaves are Brown and Wolves

All the leaves are brown and the sky is grey I've been for a walk on a winter's day I'd be safe and warm if I was in L.A California Dreamin' on such a winter's day stopped into a church I passed along the way well, I got down on my knees and I pretend to pray you know the preacher likes the cold he knows I'm gonna stay California Dreamin' on such a winter's day …”

When I was young and growing up on the east coast of America, California was like a magical place in a lot of ways. It was the sunshine state before air-conditioning made Florida popular. It’s where the hippies were and the Vietnam War protesters’ all lived. It was the place the Dodgers and Giants moved too. It was where the movies were and the stars shined brightly. And oh yea it’s where all the gays were in San Francisco. At least that is what people think they don’t know we are everywhere : )

But there were two songs I loved growing up about California and they shaped how i saw it, one was by the Mamas and Papas: California Dreamin'. The words of the song above really spoke to me, as New England is a cold place on a winters day and I wanted to be warm in LA. So many times before I left the church I pretended to pray.

The other song was from an English band, Led Zeppelin. Going to California. Ok so as a teenager I did smoke some weed and drank some beers well a little bit too much at times but that is a story for another day, maybe soon. But in a way I have always sought a new start to this life of mine.

… Smoked my stuff and drank all my wine. Made up my mind to make a new start, Going to California with an aching in my heart…Took my chances on a big jet plane, …The sea was red and the sky was grey, Wondered how tomorrow could ever follow today.The mountains and the canyons started to tremble and shake As the children of the sun began to awake. Seems that the wrath of the gods Got a punch on the nose and it started to flow; I think I might be sinking. Throw me a line if I reach it in time I’ll meet you up there where the path Runs straight and high. … Standing on a hill in my mountain of dreams, Telling myself its not as hard, hard, hard as it seems.

Some days when I was young I couldn’t convince myself it wasn’t as hard as it seems. I felt like it was never going to work out this life of mine and being gay well that just wasn't in the plans. I stressed that my life or the promise others saw in it would amount to nothing but also like the songs says when you stand on that mountain top after you have taken the path that runs straight and high, well the view of how your life works becomes crystal clear. I hope you all reach your mountain tops

I am going to California tomorrow to do a little dreamin and take a few days off. Maybe I will have some time to catch up on reading all your blogs. Any of you Californians have any ideas what I should do or see out there. I have been before and well it like every where full of beauty and imperfections but its worth another visit I think.

And I am happy to announce the return of Wolf back to blogging. Many of you older timers may remember his old blog Curious Wolf, well he is back with -- Wolfi's Blog – so if you have some time please check him out, and add him to MSN he has his listed somewhere on his blog :) . Hey and thanks to Blake for becoming my latest follower. And if you are a recent follower and I haven't yet acknowledge you please leave me a comment or send me an email so I can fix that problem.

Happy Birthday to Mirroboy's blog also and I hope you have many blogging birthdays : )

Hope all is well with you and yours my reader's; thanks for reading.

Take care and be safe

Cvn70

Thursday, September 10, 2009

Playing Ball in Boston - Meanwhile in Australia its ...

Went to America’s past time twice this week it’s something I have done before but this week was a bit special because of the people I went to the one of the game’s with; and it was two of our fellow bloggers :). I have been pleased to meet so many of you online and have felt a real sense of community here. Naturgestez who writes Naturgesetz: Catholic and Homosexual; Mark, who writes Mark’s Complicated Life and my self met a bit before the game and enjoyed a nice dinner.

It was very comfortable and enjoyable as in some ways I felt a knew a lot about them after reading their blogs and enjoying their thoughts. We got to the game half through the first inning. The sox took an early lead only to have the visitors from Baltimore come back and tie the game. But in the later innings the home town team came back to win the game by three runs. It was exciting and exciting game but it was just a pleasure to be with some people just like me

I have been closeted so long and really afraid to reach out to anyone but slowly and because of events like last night I’m building a little confidence in being gay. Not sure I’m ready for any pride events but every time I have met someone from our community or youtube its just been a comfortable thing and experience. It’s slow growth for me but who says you have to rush into anything.

Took a couple of pictures i thought i would share with you over the last couple of nights. The first one is of the Fenway Park sign and the Red Sox League Championships or World Series Banners
The view from our seats last night up above third base of the diamond
The outfield down below us
Youk at to bat from my regular seats
And the cutest redsox there is Jacoby sorry you cant see his eyes

On a side note an old friend is back and blogging. Jake Anon has a new blog and its called Meanwhile in Australia. Now he does think that Australia is the best place on earth but if you can get by that he writes a great blog. I owe Jake Anon a lot in some ways for it was his encouragement that got me onto to MSN last year and talking to a lot of you. So if you have time go over and say hello and add him to your links. And talking to you all has made my life a lot better in many ways.

Thanks for reading everyone and i hope all is well where ever you are tonight
take care and be safe my friends
Cvn70




Tuesday, September 8, 2009

Hard Wood

It’s a nice thought I know but I was referring to my nephew putting a hard wood floor in my condo this weekend. I had him do the first floor the bedrooms can wait. And some how it still was a lot of work for me to do event though I was paying him :P. I had him do the first floor of the condo the bedrooms which are on the second floor can wait, I’m tired.



Had a nice long weekend filled with work (flooring), barbeque’s and even a little bit of sailing. Next weekend im going to participate in the Moffet Race off of Martha ’s Vineyard. Now that the Obama’s went home its safe to go there again :D. When the Clinton’s and Now th eObama’s visit that crowded little island it funny how many people go over to try and get a peek at him.

Work goes ok people are not happy out there these days is one thing I can tell you. If the economy is getting better I don’t think its starting around here. This afternoon I will spend with two other attorney’s dividing up the cash my client makes. Don’t play with drugs people if you have any responsibilities in this world. Its funny how little you can be left to live on if you fuck up in life

Going to the Red Sox a couple of times this week, maybe ill have some pictures for you from the games. For those of you outside the country baseball is coming sdwon to the wire and the Sox are in the hunt for a play off position.

Hey and for all my friends going back to school work hard on your studies for they only help you. What you are doing now will go along way to make your life better and more fulfilled. And no matter what kind of of life you want to pursue get educated it in.

Hope life is treating you all well. Take care and be safe my friends

Cvn70

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Never get caught with a dead girl or a live boy – A tribute to a Massachusetts Senator

How could he be one of the most trusted members of Society -- and be an out of control frat boy most of his life? No the questioner is not talking about George Bush but rather Senator Ted Kennedy.

The answer is our lives are full of challenges and as human beings we just don’t fit into one box our whole lives. This is the biggest lesson I have learned from Mr. Kennedy in life is - Don’t ever let others successfully define you or limit you in any manner.

Mr. Kennedy passed from this earth today leaving his mark over the United States and the US Senate where he served in for over 45 years. Mr. Kennedy defied the politic odds several times in his life and for that I do respect him. Being a conservative Mr. Kennedy has drawn my ire several times but how he lived his whole life is why I respect him. Like a phoenix he rose from the political ashes to become one of America’s greatest liberal stalwarts.

To many Americans, America lost a hero today. People far beyond our shores felt this way also and I believe it right to acknowledge his life even though; Mr. Kennedy was not a political hero of mine and to be honest I never voted for him once. He has to be recognized as one of America’s leading politicians over the last forty years.

Mr. Kennedy taught me a couple of things in his political work one; is be happy with getting a little of your program started because once begun a popular government program never goes away. So I try to be happy for the little victories in my life and not dwell on the negatives for I know those can be overcome too. Secondly, never let any single event in your life define you. To be truthful this is one I am working on as I am in closet still but I guess what I can see is he lived through the worse and came out it of stronger.

I enjoyed a few things in life that Mr. Kennedy did like sailing in Cape Cod sound, and being with family but Mr. Kennedy and his family were like the American Dream itself. Poor Irish immigrants the Kennedy’s once were who rose to the highest powers of government and wealth. The Kennedy’s are for many Americans, America’s dream family and part of the lure of the American dream – it happen to them it could happen to me too – in America.

Mr. Kennedy taught me that: I have the power to make it a better life; I have the power to overcome what ails you and if some is important to me to never stop working to achieve it. Don’t seek excuses in life seek results even if you have to deal with people opposed to you and your efforts. You can’t do it alone and that is where friends come in and I thank you my friends I have met here and continue to make.

Mr. Kennedy arguably is responsible for the passage of more laws affecting the social fabric of this nation and yet in 1969 he faced one of the greatest challenges to anyone in politics and survived. Mr. Kennedy in 1969, less than a year after his second brother’s passing was at the wheel of a car in which a young girl died.

Many know the story or lack there of as Kennedy failed to report the accident for the better part of a day while a team of supporters arraigned a story. It was reported that after a sailing regatta and a heavy day of drinking Mr. Kennedy crashed his car into the ocean off a small bridge on a small island connected to Martha’s Vineyard. Ms. Kopechne, a political aide, was trapped in Kennedy’s car and did not survive. Mr. Kennedy could have faded away but he did not. No charges were ever brought against the young Senator, the Kopechne family I have read, believed this was due to heavy political pressure the Kennedy family exerted in National and Massachusetts’s politics.

It’s that part of his story I find most interesting; that at a time when most wouldn’t have had the strength to continue he did. And he not only continued he worked harder than most of his contemporaries and became maybe the most effective Kennedy of his clan. Many of us could allow the problems and challenges in our lives to over whelm us but step back and reexamine your life.

Each and every problem can be overcome, yes it takes effort and it's not going to be easy but with planning, forethought and support I believe that all problems can be overcome, I mean look at what Kennedy overcame is anything you or I will face in our lives more challenging or so greater a hill to climb, yet the man did it you have to give him his due.

The picture above is of the JFK Library (the black building) in Boston, Massachusetts.

I would like to mention two new followers and thank them for reading Jose A. who appears to be from Brussels, Belgium writes Llaves Rojas which maybe in Spanish and Octavius who writes The Life of a Commodore and claims to be from New Zealand. I have become real partial to Kiwi's as I have never met one who isn't a great guy (Judie feel free to MSN me :)) and gay for that matter :P

If you have time take a look at their blogs and leave a comment or two. As always I would like to thank you for stopping by reading and saying hello. Take care and be safe my friends

Cvn70

Monday, August 24, 2009

Court, Goodbyes and Hellos

Today a federal judge set a Jan. 11, 2009 court date for the first legal challenge to Proposition 8, the California ballot initiative that outlawed same-sex marriage. Why does this matter because it could lead to the United States Supreme Court declaring gay marriage a right in every state making us just a bit closer to becoming first class citizens of this country.

What is real good about this case is the lawyers who are bringing it forth and they are the two lawyers who were on opposites sides of the Bush v Gore fight of 2000. In, David Boies and maybe more importantly Theodore Olsen the gentlemen representing two California couples denied a marriage certificate by the Proposition * ballot initiative.

For those of you not familiar with the Prop 8 the case and why it’s important lets take a minute. A few years ago the California Supreme Court granted all California’s the right to be married, including gays and lesbians to each other. This of course upset some of our countrymen and a ballot initiative was placed on the California election ballot which asked that the voters approve a change to the Californian Constitution disallowing marriage for a select class of individuals ( ie same sex persons) The ballot initiative passed by a 52 – 48 % vote.

Not accepting this ballot imitative as fair to sex same couples, Messer Boies and Olsen filed suit in Federal Court. A Federal Court can over rule a State Court or a state’s constitution if it is found to violate our federal constitution. Messer Boies and Olsen are arguing that Prop. 8 denies their clients "the basic liberties and equal protection under the law that are guaranteed by the Fourteenth Amendment of the Unites States Constitution." I agree completely.

Now I have to say good-bye to my friends Ryan, of behindcloseddoors, Wolf, of Curious Wolf and Courage of A Beautiful addiction for they have all stopped blogging. Thanks for your time and efforts and I hope see you all on MSN :)

As sad as it to say good-bye to old blogs it is a pleasure to say hello to some new ones;

I would like to start with Teendl whose blog is he My search for love is a young man who has had some issue in life. He is not the happiest person and like many of you is in need of a few friends and some friendly people to talk too on MSN. His email and MSN is on his profile. You should know he is quite depressed so cheer him up if you can or have a few minutes for him.

Nick is back with Simply Nick and I for one are happy to see him back blogging. Nick is a another young man who has some unique challenges in life but he is a good guy and worth reading

WhiteGoods who writes Krisis Point is another young guy who like Nick has recently returned to blogging. He has a few new psots to read but is limited in his posting because he can only blog from the public library. I know he likes to get emails and comments but hey who doesn’t.

I would also like to say to Dodger who has started a new blog called Nexus, Dodger been around for awhile and has been making comments on several blogs.

I hope you all might have some time to visit any of these new bloggers. Also my new followers Judie, my second female follower :), whose blog is Change the Times, is from New Zealand, Fer who hails from Mexico City and his blog is The maudlin story of a bisexual boy, Dave 83201 is 21 and is also is a fairly new blogger who writes Daze Gone Bi. Thanks for taking the time to follow, comment and read.

I appreciate your time today and hope all is well where ever you are. I do believe in gay marriage and that it is close at hand in this country. Its just a matter of time before the courts grant us our rights

Take care and be safe my friends

Cvn70

Monday, August 10, 2009

AEK you want to put your finger where?

AEK Good Luck and I hope this is the start of the best part of your life leading to a great career. Entering Medical School is a great accomplishment, I’m very proud of your efforts to date and you should be also. I know there is a lot of work ahead of you but I have every confidence that you will achieve all your goals.

Really though how many people do get to put their finger up some ones butt on a regular basis and get paid for it? And hey by the time you finish school and residency the government will have health care firmly under control and hey you didn’t want to get rich doing this did you :P

I really hope all you bloggers, follwers and readers reach your educational goals. The time you spend now will be paid back many times over and hey if you dont spend time now you may never find the time inthe future to do it. So really AEK keep up the good work.

Update on my trial the little old lady did not come to court it seems she had a note from her doctor. So we have rescheduled but her attorney has signaled she might step down as executor. Otherwise work is steady.

Mr. Carwin and FMS, I owe you both an email, sorry about that but I will try and get it out soon. I’m still trying to exchange some sox tickets for September trying to accommodate some schedules of people I would like to go to a game with so I hope to have that done soon. Got to go to Cambridge Court today never a fun time to go there it's just that Boston traffic always sucks.

I have a couple of new followers who I will address in my next post but thank you so much for reading me. I couldn’t load pictures this morning so I have some shots of Boston and the Cape as I have finally gotten out a couple of days onto the Ocean, so I will make another post this week.

I hit one of those Orange barrels on the highway with my car by luckily just the side view mirror was broken. So I need to get that fixed, its like your blind of the highway on the driver’s side without it. And ok so I shouldn’t have been on the phone and is I wasn’t I might have noticed the highway was dropping a lane for construction.

I think I need a vacation is what I’m thinking also. But AEK Good Luck
Take care and be safe, thanks for reading

Cvn70

Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Did anyone cry for Larry


Do not stand at my grave and weep,
I am not there. I do not sleep …
Do not stand at my grave and cry,
I am not there, I did not die.
These words are part of a memorial to Larry King
Larry King is the boy on the right in this picture the killer is the boy in the left

Why are we here, do humans just exist and are we creating our own destruction? I think Mirrorboy was asking these questions in his most recent post and he quite rightly he pointed out some of the horrors we humans have created and normally I would answer his thoughts in a comment but I thought maybe I would try to express some of my feelings through a post today. I’m not going to address all his thoughts today just those that deal with religions.

My first thought is that we humans have created everything and there is some debate among his commentators on whether man created God or God created us but I ask that does that really matter. Because at the essence of all religions is a message of love and peace, you will not find hate in their teaching directly.

Religions and I used to belong to one, can do good things for mankind but I agree religions are used by many to subvert our own kind and to control others. Do the Mormons and others send missionaries out to better their church or to help others, it’s a bit of both I believe. Religions must grow and convert people to their beliefs its their goal and they justify through their good works. It’s as Mirrorboy points to they are trying to be number one also. Why would it matter to a religion if people believed or not in God as long as they believed in the religion.

And are you a better person because you don’t believe in god, belong to a religion or have faith in anything other then that today exists? I don’t think so either. I am not sure religion or the lack there of it describes why we kill and harm each other. But for all the horror in today’s world there are good things going on and I ask you Mirrorboy and some of you others expressing doubts and concerns to have some faith in humanity.

The words above are form Larry’s website it’s a memorial of his short life. Larry, while you may not of heard of him his death while tragic was not as valued as others. He appears to have been a sweet little boy who had a passion for dressing in female attire and heels. He never ran from his tormentors. Apparently the defendant has claimed what drove him over the edge was Larry’s Valentine card to him. Larry had no qualms about asking his classmates out or asking for their love.

Larry’s young life was brought to an end by another child named McInerney, a classmate who apparently told others that “We should jump him,” after Larry called McInerney “baby” during the days prior to the murder. McInerney told another student that he did not like Larry because Larry was gay and dressed like a girl, and that he and his friends were going to jump Larry and “shank” him. In the end McInerney shot Larry in the head and was arrested.

Larry killer’s was also a fan of Hitler and all things Nazi, and yes humans created that empire also, but who was ever there for Larry’s killer, for I don’t think its religion alone responsible for the killers of this world. A boy of 15 didn’t become this way on his own. McInerney, someone I have to believe taught him to hate or didn’t care enough about him to teach him not to hate. He is on trial today as an adult for the shooting of Larry, and it’s sad to see two young lives wasted here.

And its just not Larry, this week in NY another human was found guilty of killing someone because he was different. Moses was born a man but preferred to live as a woman. Green, who was born Moses Cannon but began living as a woman at age 16, frequently dressed in women's clothing but was wearing jeans and a T-shirt the night she was killed. His life wasn’t worth much to his killer; several witnesses said they heard his killer refer to Moses as a "faggot" just before Moses was shot. Moses was only 22 and she had no chance in this life it appears, because of the hate we humans have created.

Balanced against these two stories is the story of another child who had no chance in life. His story is much different as a nation cried for him. He met prime ministers and billionaires. He I have read was a person of faith. But he had faith in the same humans, Liam Fiarhurst, after he had been diagnosed with cancer said, “I’m going to donate the money I raise to CLIC Sargent. They’re a charity that helps families who’ve got children with cancer and leukemia. Liam died this June and he was only 14, taken by cancer something as cruel as the two killers above. I’m not sure its as bad as Mirrorboy makes humanity to be; sure we have problems, but for the millions he points out we spend on weapons and killing; its also true one little boy raised hundreds of thousands of dollars for the good of others.

Mirrorboy points out we are all chasing something a better job, a fancier car, a better life through money, and I’m not sure its wrong to try and improve your self. I worked hard to get where I’m at in life and I don’t owe anyone anything. I don’t think its wrong to be successful, what might be wrong it what you do with your success or in Liam’s case his fame.

If you Google Liam, Larry or Moses names, pages of information and stories will appear. Its just such a shame that everyone cried for Liam and few have cried for Larry and Moses. I don’t think anyone’s life is worth less than another’s, I don’t think children should be killers, and I don’t think we are on the right path in our societies if a child who died from cancer is celebrated (and rightly so) but children who are killed through ignorant hate are simply ignored by the greater society.

Should we be spending those millions on machines, which kill, or should we spending our monies on research for cancer and education for tolerance. And is society ever going to be tolerant of those of us who are different from the norm? It is us humans who have the capacity for love and hate after all we are just continuing the past as it was one before us, when will it ever end.

If you have time please visit the links to Larry and Liam they were remarkable persons few ever got to know and they both died neither having a chance in life but at least one of them should still be with us today. I’m not asking you to cry for Larry but maybe recognize he was here with us and that his life and his hopes were every bit as valuable as Liam’s.

Before leaving I would like to say good bye to a couple of our fellow bloggers Jayson, the Night Rider, who I have the pleasure of coming to know he says he is taking a break and to my good friend Courage, who has decided to stop blogging, I’m just sad to see you go and I wish you the greatest success, I will miss you both.

As always thanks for reading, take care and be safe

Cvn70

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

So Here's the Deal

I have been gone it seems a long time but really I have just been lost in my world out there again, people can be such assholes when there is money on the table, if you weren't aware of that. Been working on a cse that just doesn"t pass the smell test with most people.

A few months ago a good friend introduced me to a client, they coach some youth sports together and I quickly learned that his father had died. It seems that a few years ago his father inherited a bit of money and the woman he was living with before he died has it all.

She had lived with his dad for 20 years or so and was the reason his parents divorced in the first place, but she decided to keep all the money save 20K she gave each son and was content to leave it that way.

Okay so there is a Will by the way and it does leave her 60% of the Estate and 40% going to my clients (the other son is my client also). Their dad drafted the Will a couple of years ago right after he inherited the monies. To cut to the chase my client's deserve about 100K a piece. A trial scheduled in less than ten days and tomorrow I am taking a deposition of this nice old lady she is over sixty but twenty years younger than my client’s father.

She got control of the funds in the last two weeks of his life when she was added as a joint account holder. He was dying of cancer and of course he paid all the bills. Did I mention she was in such a rush to get the monies she actually tried to have the priest administering last rights marry her and their dad, before he passed. She was added according to my client's so she could continue to pay those expenses.

Now I don’t want to disparage this kind old woman but tomorrow I have to ask her some questions and find out why she would betray the wishes of a man she claimed to love. She was appointed the executor of the estate by their father and that is what we are trying to prevent.

We want a court ordered Administrator who will reclaim the monies she has converted from the Estate. I know I sound confident but the Court has already order the nice old lady to freeze all of these funds. And the Judge wouldn’t have done that without reason; in fact the judge suggested settling before a trial occurred. So this and some other work is what has been keeping me from the blogs too much lately.

Lost another relative since my last post, some what more distant to me but as always a funeral is a sad place to be. Sadness was also brought to me by the Jake Anon discontinuing his blogging, and I had just got the dam link fixed. Jake Anon has been a good friend to me and I wish him well down under.

And if you are wondering if I represented the little old lady, yea I could do that but it would be a settlement negotiation trying to get the boys to take less than their share based on some theory and stalling, I know I'm not always proud of what I do, but I would never go to trial with her position.

Let me know if you think my clients deserve what their father left in them in the Will or not.

Ok and I have to thank all my new followers James, who has been around for a long time and whose blog I enjoy greatly, Callen, he is a fairly new blogger so give him some support and if you can, Stanley, a young guy from cali who is taking a break but hey a few new followers and who knows, Shane, he is just starting out here in life and the blogging world and he is a real nice guy who just graduated college , WKBoy714, is a young UK blogger, who is also a new, he has a name but you need to talk to him on MSN to get it.

I would also like to introduce yo all to a few new bloggers I have linked

Jason, another young guy from Cali whose blog is Carwin’s Closet

Tyler, a young Canadian is Another Cog in the Murder Machine

I will try to post more regularly after tomorrow, all my work is nearly done for the trial so I can even make some comments again :).

Thanks for reading, take care and be safe

Cvn70

Friday, July 3, 2009

150 years of Hate, Indians and Fireworks

Happy Fourth of July! Living in Massachusetts celebrating the Fourth is a special event as it was here where the “Indians” threw the Boston tea party, the massacre unraveled on our streets, the first shots of the revolution were fired nearby, “don’t shoot till you see the whites of their eyes” was uttered during the fight which came to be known as the battle of Bunker Hill, Paul Revere of riding fame also put the copper plating on old Ironsides (USS Constitution) our most famous war ship still commissioned and residing in one of our harbors, we also began public education, and other rights and freedoms all americans enjoy have their origins traced to Massachusetts.

Fireworks may have begun in America with the Declaration of Independence and while the document is in truth a list of grievances against a tyrannical king it did contain the thoughts below from which so many freedoms in this country and others have been born from. The Massachusetts’s courts that I work in have a long history of protecting the freedoms of ours; from the British soldiers accused of firing upon civilians to granting gay marriage. A couple of days ago 150 years of hate were wiped out as some freedoms were given to our friends in India by their courts. But over 225 years ago our for fathers were struggling with out courts to gain freedoms and came up with the Declaration to voice their thoughts.

“We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness. — That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed, — That whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Government …”

Thomas Jefferson in writing these words allowed people to believe that we are all equal and deserve to pursue a life we choose on our terms without restriction or less rights then anyone else. He points out that Government and the laws they create and made by men and when they are improper it’s up to the people to ensure the right thing is done. The Declaration of Independence’s most famous signature is arguably John Hancock, not that the Boston merchant was anymore important; it’s just that his signature is the largest and most bold, some what like the spirit of Masachusetts.

Massachusetts has continued social progression in America, as it was the first state to authorized gay marriage. Marriage in America is regulated by the states and here in 2003 the Massachusetts Supreme Court said the following:

The question before us is whether, consistent with the Massachusetts Constitution, the Commonwealth may deny the protections, benefits, and obligations conferred by civil marriage to two individuals of the same sex who wish to marry. We conclude that it may not. The Massachusetts Constitution affirms the dignity and equality of all individuals. It forbids the creation of second class citizens. In reaching our conclusion we have given full deference to the arguments made by the Commonwealth. But it has failed to identify any constitutionality adequate reason for denying civil marriage to same-sex couples. We are mindful that our decision marks a change in the history of our marriage law. Many people hold deep-seated religious, moral, and ethical convictions that marriage should be limited to the union of one man and one woman, and that homosexual conduct is immoral. Many hold equally strong religious, moral, and ethical convictions that same-sex couples are entitled to be married, and that homosexual persons should be treated no differently than their heterosexual neighbors. Neither view answers the question before us. Our concern is with the Massachusetts Constitution as a charter of governance for every person properly within its reach. "Our obligation is to define the liberty of all, not to mandate our own moral code."

More of our states are coming to the same conclusions and recognizing that we deserve to be allowed to live, enjoy and prosper. We may see a day when Thomas Jefferson’s words have meaning for all Americans including us in the GLBT community. On July 2, 2009 in Delhi the highest Court of India struck down laws created to make homosexual activity illegal and criminal.

“This ruling to overturn Section 377 of the Indian Penal Code should go a long way to help reduce stigma and widespread discrimination against gay and lesbian individuals living in India as consensual sexual behavior—and possible related discrimination—will no longer be protected by, or codified into law,” said Dr. Chinkholal Thangsing, Asia Pacific Bureau Chief, AHF Global.

There are still over 80 countries in this world where engaging in gay sex is criminal but at least India has seen the light. Freedoms and rights only come when people act and lasting freedoms come from our Courts. People in a democracy may not like the rulings but they are accepted by those who believe that our freedoms are precious

A few new bloggers I have noticed or met are:

Loneli bi boy whose blog is I got a boner is a 16 old teen from the states;

S whose blog is Enjoy the Journey an 18 year old college student;

Mikeyboy whose blog is Milkin Mikey is also student from the states.

If you have some time check out there blogs and as always thanks for reading, i hope you enjoy your families, bbq's. the fireworks and of course our freedoms.

Take care and be safe

Cvn70

Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Games People Play

Ok so Tyler has come up with a game and I think I will play along, besides it gives me something to post about. The rules appear to be simple take a picture of where you blog from and post it then tag a some people to post a picture of the desk, area or even room where they blog from.

I tend to use a laptop when I do the actual posting and even though I have a desktop I rarely use it for much of anything but work. This desk is just a corner of a bedroom that is empty in my condo, its really just a couple of tables pushed together in a corner, but it’s like a little office space and if you send me a fax the machine on the left is where I would get it. And I have a comfy chair to use. And I could be neater but the cleaning lady hasn’t come this week, well she never does in fact.

If you blow up the second picture you really won’t see much there’s a memory sick in the desktop but no porn in it, there is a calculator I’ve had for over 20 years on the desk, a couple of law books and not much else though and thanks to the low quality of the blackberry camera it stops you from seeing anything with a name on it

And sometimes for a change of pace I use this desk its in my family room I guess you could call it, I think that is what a real estate agent would call the room, its just another area of the condo to store some books and sit and read your blogs

Ok so part of the game is to tag some others and keep the game rolling so I would like to tag Landyn, Jonathan, Ryan, Cian and Jayson, you don’t have to play the game but it would be nice if you did :)

Take care and be safe, thanks for reading

Cvn70

Monday, June 22, 2009

WTF My Car Was Stolen

Well it’s been two weeks almost since I have spoken to you all, oh and I will get to the car thing in a minute, but let’s recap the last few days. I believe it was the day I last posted I got my first gay hater on MSN, maybe I will post some of that convo. The day after the ball game I flew to Florida, on Jet Blue, the airline with the TVs in every head rest. The flight was good and uneventful. My dad lives in Florida for about ten months a year and then spends a couple of months up in New England. I flew down to drive a car home for him as he fell a couple of months ago and broke a few vertebrae. He is healing well but not enough for the 1500 mile drive home.

When I got home I became involved some blog land drama, had a good week in court and then I made a mistake and lost the trust of a friend, I had a momentary lapse of reasoning for which I will never forget what it cost me. But moving on … i would like to thank Steve for being my newest follower, he has been around for a long while and writes a nice blog I hope you all have some time to check his blog out.

So while I was in Florida, I had lunch with a friend and diner with another one and ate this meal

and I spent some time on this beach

And I got drunk one night in St. Petersburg near John’s Pass. Then I headed home. Driving in the south of this country is a lot better than the north and for one reason the speed limit is legally 70 mph thus you know the cops will allow you to go 80 mph. For another there are generally less people on the roads also which makes it easy to travel fast, but the worst thing about the south is there is no dunkin donuts my favorite place to get coffee. I made it to Virginia driving almost nine hundred miles on the first day. Taking plenty of breaks as advised by Jake Anon. The following day it took just as long to go the rest of the way home mostly due to two hours of traffic in the New York City area, where I stopped to have dinner with a friend.

Got home and went to court twice last week and won both cases, well in one the other side didn’t show, so you just get a default judgment making my life a bit easier, but i really had a good work week.

This weekend though something happened which caused me to react in almost a violent manner. Like many of you I have some issues in my life which I constantly fight and try to control. One of them is when I am provoked or defending a friend I care about I can become someone else and really not someone you want to deal with, for when I was young I was taught to hit someone so they never stand up again. Dad was a marine and believed if you are going to fight then don’t lose. I did something which I believed was right but I have come to learn that no matter the justification I was wrong for hurting my friend and betraying his confidences. I have been forgiven but our friendship may never be the same and for that I am deeply sorry my friend I broke your trust.

Oh yea my car, so I go to get ready to go to lunch with Bob today and I walk out and my car is not there. I go into panic mode, check the whole parking lot (I work with practical jokers who would move my car) but I knew I had the keys all morning. I called my friend Officer Burke and start to tell him my cars' been stolen when I remember, this morning I drove across the street to get muffins and walked back to the office. I normally walk there but it was raining a bit this morning and when I came out of the store it had stopped so I walked back forgetting my car in the parking lot. How foolish I felt lol, but my car was there safe and sound.

Thanks for reading, Take care and be safe

Cvn70

Thursday, June 11, 2009

Playing With Balls

I really enjoyed sports growing up and I have played a lot of them. I have also attended a lot of them over the years. I think without playing sports I would have lost it when I was younger. I don’t really have a clear memory of my first red sox game but I know I went there often as a child as both my parents enjoyed baseball. In their time it was America’s game. Most of games were played during the day and ball players often held second jobs to make ends meet. You could attend a game back in their day fo a couple of dollars and get a good seat for you money too.

Today’s game as I am sure with most major sports around the world are all about the money, with players making millions of dollars a year. Baseball in the states is played by about thirty teams in two leagues the American and National leagues. A winner of the pennant from each league plays in what we call the World Series a 7 game playoff. Boston has recently been the World Series Camp in 2004 and 2007.

But the cost of baseball is transferred to its fans with seats starting at $23.00 dollars to sit in the bleachers to $350.00 dollars to sit along the infield wall. Those player’s salaries also translates into $7.25 beers, $4.50 hotdogs, $4.00 for peanuts and popcorn. It’s a shame what money has done to sports with these athletes taking dugs to improve their performance and to earn even more millions


But still I grew up playing sports and Boston is blessed with some of the best teams in sports right now. Baseball in Boston is played at Fenway Park originally built in 1912 and seats about 35K. It’s small in comparison to many newer parks and has some Unique design features like the Green Monster a 37” high wall preventing balls from going out of the park
I share same season tickets with some friends and these are a few views from my seat

And oh yea we beat the dreaded New York Yankees 6-5 last night



Whose beer is this anyways and my knee

I would like to say hello to some new followers, Mark, a 27 year old from the US and another Massachusetts blogger yea, Almishboii007, he is a 21 year form the UK, Cash, he is 23 year old from the US, Mike from Rays Blog and Mingyu who I couldn’t find a blog for but if you have one please let me know. And I have one new blog to plug today and its Jimi’s Life, Jimi si a 17 year from the US. If you have some time please give them all a look.

I really appreciate all of you who follow and read my thoughts. So i would like to know what events sporting or otherwise do you like to attend.
take care and be safe
Cvn70

Monday, June 8, 2009

Please A Moment For RJ


This isn’t the post I have been trying to write and frankly I am hoping you have the time to give a little support tonight to a couple of our friends. It’s been a tough couple of weeks in Blog land. I am sad to say the news I have to share tonight is not getting any better and isn’t going to make any one happy.

A relatively new blogger RJ, chipsnfiascos blog, who I just met not two weeks ago has been struck by a car and is in serious condition. RJ is a 16 year old from New York who love tennis and is pretty good player. Yet again a real life friend of a blogger has gone out of his way to enter our world to let us know about our new friend RJ, who he knows in real life as Ryan. Cole his friend has created a blog and the full story is here, be prepared its not pretty. Cole has updated Nick and we do is is in serious condition awaiting surgery as I post. Cole does know Rj is bi and we do RJ told him about some of us, one in particular and another new blogger, Nick.

Nick and RJ have become good friends and well you probably have a guess of how Nick is feeling. I rarely ask much of others but if you have a moment please say prayer because folks I understand RJ may not make through the surgery. Maybe send Nick an email or say hello to him as i know he needs a little support right now.

As soon as any news reaches is known I am sure Cole, Nick or I will update everyone. I also ask if you have a moment to visit his friend Cole’s blog there is an email there and maybe send RJ some flowers, please remember to be sensitive to what we don't know. Peter showed us how to do this before for a friend in the hospital before, so if you have a minute I am sure Cole will deliver them at the right time.

You can steal the flowers from this post or find your own. I am borrowing them from AgentK. Thanks everyone for reading and especially for those who have the time to wish RJ good health and Nick some support during this very tough time on their young lives

Take care and be safe, God watch over our friend RJ tonight

Cvn70

Sunday, May 31, 2009

Life is Over, Bye Matt

The most important things are the hardest things to say. They are the things you get ashamed of, because words diminish them – words shrink things that seem limitless when they were in your head to no more then living size when they are brought out. But it’s more than that, isn’t it? The most important things lie too close to wherever your secret heart is buried, like landmarks to a treasure your enemies would love to steal away. And you may make revelations that cost you dearly only to have people look at you in a funny way, not understanding what you’ve said at all, or why you thought it was so important that you almost cried while you were saying it. That’s the worst, I think. When the secret stays locked within not for want of a teller but for want of understanding ear.” Prologue to “The Body” by Steven King

I wish I had written those words for they describe for me some of what blogging is about. Mr. King’s short story, one known by most, centers on friendships and how characters that seemingly have nothing in common form strong bonds through experience, learning and coming to know each other's strengths and weaknesses. Many of us are hear looking for that understanding ear. We are attempting to make revelations of ourselves and provide information that are enemies may use us against us and for some here that is a real life proposition. The Body provided the material for the screen play and movie most are probably familiar with called "Stand By Me"

A lot has happened to me in the last few days but Life the Blog is over, Matt, my friend made 50 posts in four months had about 30 followers and yesterday sent me the email below. I guess I should start by thanking him for sending the email. He knew how it bothered me when some bloggers just up and leave. Matt was a friend. I left the first comment on his blog and we had emailed and chatted and became friends over the last four months. He wasn’t happy, a common trait among many of us, his family life wasn't the greatest as he saw it, his love life was non existent, stressing over exams but i thought he had found some friends here. He taught me a lot about how he saw life and things but in the end, I guess he didn’t find what he wanted here in blogging. I wish he had stayed to send me an email occasionally to let me know of his progression in life. Maybe some day he will, Matt it would mean a lot to me if you did.

I thought a lot, long and hard, about posting what he says in his email its not all pretty and I don’t know what happened; we actually chatted shortly before this and he said he would be on MSN today, those were his last words to me but in the end he asked me to post this so I will oblige his request. They are Matt’s thoughts not mine:

“Bob, put this on ur site please.

Hi. Bye.

Look theres no easy way to put this, but im going to stop blogging from now. Not just stop posting - just end my blog and everything to do with it. Ive come to the realisation that blogging is fucking me up - its making me think about how to say stuff, bad stuff, how to always moan and complain about my life. ANd its getting to a point where i have to stop; im creating illusions for myself, im making things much worse than they are. ANd i cant do that. Not any more. Its fucking me up bob, im doing stuff i shouldnt be doing ,im saying stuff i shouldnt me saying. Its my life, and i cant let myself ruin it with this. Im sorry that this is done the way it is; i will miss some of u guys; you bob, wolfy, jamesy, mirrorboy, john and nick. Sorry to those people. No im not suicidal, and im not going to hurt myself, i just need to end my blog before it ends me. ANd this can be a warning to others - to all those who think blogs are just fun, just a place where youw rite your thoughts -no theyre not toys, you shouldnt play with them, its playing with fire. Either way you dont benefit. This sounds a bit crazy i know. But fuck it, it has to be done.

You wonder what happens when bloggers dissapear, well this is what. I just hope one day you wont have to understand, that you wont have to think 'he was right'.And dont try to email me or talk to me on msn, im deleting both of those accounts, so youre just wasting your time.

And ill be ok dont worry.

X”

Matt I have a lot to say to you about your email and the times we spent talking and emailing. I am sorry this medium drove you to this position and I wish we had had the chance to talk about what bothered you about blogging. What I do know is I have one less gay/bi person who I can talk too and get to know in my life now. I don't see that as a win but its your choice, my friend.

I hope you find the freedoms you are looking for in this life. I want you to get the best education you can in this life to prepare you for a future. I hope you find someone you can spend time with who loves you as much as you want to love someone. I wish you the best my friend, it hurts to see you go but thank you for all your help and support. And, Matt I never thought you were a waste of time, and since you asked for me to post this I hope you will at least look at it so thanks so much for your comment on the last post.

Take care and be safe my friend

may fair winds stay at your back in life, bye for now :(

I will miss you

Cvn70